Another one bites the dust.
The gut instinct is always right. Mr VP just wasn’t that into me and so he called it off before feelings developed (or didn’t develop in his case) further.
Dear men of the world, there’s a lesson to be learnt here. He picked up the phone, rang me, apologised as he felt his feelings for me weren’t developing in the same way as mine were for him. He knew what is was like to be on the other side as knew it wasn’t fair to string me along anymore. He apologised a lot, once was enough, he can’t help how he feels but I thanked him for being honest and having the balls to tell me.
He was sorry if he’d hurt me and thought I was great fun and I wanted to remain friends, he’d happily spend time with me. Meh, I have enough friends in my life.
And so ended the brief interlude that was Mr VP.
Yes it stung. More because yet again, I’d ignored my gut instinct and yet again tried to force that square peg into the round hole. Why do I keep doing that?
It hurt more because yet again, I’m the friend and never the girlfriend.
I cried because I’m scared their might not ever be a round peg for me. I look at my friends and envy their happy codependent relationships. I wonder if I’ll ever enjoy a man loving me unconditionally, in the centre of his world in the way sis and bro in law live, with the adorable niece.
I’m frustrated because my career, life in Melbourne, friendships, and family should be enough. But it’s not.
One little slip up in a tiny corner of my otherwise enviable life and it feels like I’m starting from scratch again. That pisses me off. That’s what makes me cry. I’m disappointed in myself and I hate seeing the disappointment and pity on friends’ faces. I know all they want is for me to be happy and I hate letting them down.