A gent to the end

Another one bites the dust.

The gut instinct is always right. Mr VP just wasn’t that into me and so he called it off before feelings developed (or didn’t develop in his case) further.

Dear men of the world, there’s a lesson to be learnt here. He picked up the phone, rang me, apologised as he felt his feelings for me weren’t developing in the same way as mine were for him. He knew what is was like to be on the other side as knew it wasn’t fair to string me along anymore. He apologised a lot, once was enough, he can’t help how he feels but I thanked him for being honest and having the balls to tell me.

He was sorry if he’d hurt me and thought I was great fun and I wanted to remain friends, he’d happily spend time with me. Meh, I have enough friends in my life.

And so ended the brief interlude that was Mr VP.

Yes it stung. More because yet again, I’d ignored my gut instinct and yet again tried to force that square peg into the round hole. Why do I keep doing that?

It hurt more because yet again, I’m the friend and never the girlfriend.

I cried because I’m scared their might not ever be a round peg for me. I look at my friends and envy their happy codependent relationships. I wonder if I’ll ever enjoy a man loving me unconditionally, in the centre of his world in the way sis and bro in law live, with the adorable niece.

I’m frustrated because my career, life in Melbourne, friendships, and family should be enough. But it’s not.

One little slip up in a tiny corner of my otherwise enviable life and it feels like I’m starting from scratch again. That pisses me off. That’s what makes me cry. I’m disappointed in myself and I hate seeing the disappointment and pity on friends’ faces. I know all they want is for me to be happy and I hate letting them down.

3 thoughts on “A gent to the end

  1. I’ve been following your blog and every time you dont post, I miss them. I was so happy when I read about Mr. VP. Haha… Felt like my own friend had met someone that might turn out to be something significant, but alas. I’m actually quite sorry because I’m at a similar place in my life and constantly trying to fill in the large gap in my heart with chocolates but the damned things always end up in my tummy.
    Okay, I just wanted to encourage you not to give up, I’m a hopeless romantic and i cant help believing theres someone for all of us… This post touched me in a strange way and I’m sorry but it sort of made me feel i wasnt alone looking out this window. But I know you’d find someone. You sound like a great person. Stay blessed northern lass.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s